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Gaming New Year's Resolutions

by Lori Ann Curley

  • I will bring my share of munchies or drinks to the game.
  • I will pay for my portion of the pizza.
  • I will not eat more than my portion of the pizza.
  • I will not insist on ordering pineapple on one of the pizzas, and then not eat any of that pizza.
  • I will refrain from shouting, "Look, a place to hide the bodies!" the next time my realtor shows me an interesting house.
  • I will not put off homework to play a Massive Multiplayer Online Game.
  • I will not play Neopets at work.
  • I will not take delight in causing terror in mundanes by discussing the mass slaughter of people that occurred in game last night, while sitting in the pub.
  • I will make friends with people, not just with my miniatures.
  • I will not shriek in delight when I find a piece of packing foam at a store.
  • I will not beg bewildered store employees for the price of said piece of packing foam.
  • I will not tell the bewildered store employees, while begging for the price, on how it is the perfect piece of terrain for my next mega conquest miniatures game.
  • I will bathe before each gaming session.
  • I will not murder my party in its sleep.
  • When the party is running away from a fight I will wait until everyone is in front of me before dropping the caltrops.
  • I will not roll dice to make every day decisions.
  • I will not cheat at dice rolls.
  • I will refrain from being overly pissy at a bad dice roll.
  • I will not tell my GameMaster (GM) over the phone that I'm a terrorist while riding on public transportation on the way to the game.
  • I will not show up in a totally age-inappropriate costume and then berate a guy for ogling exposed areas.
  • I will not withhold sex from the GM/boyfriend because he allowed one of the other players to steal/maim my elf fighter - again.
  • I will not wear clothing to make the other players forget why they are gaming.
  • I will stop threatening my coworkers with magic missiles and fireballs.
  • I will actually tell people my real name and not my character's.
  • I will not plan a gaming night on a holiday weekend and leave my spouse at the mercy of my out-of-town relatives.
  • I will arrive on time for the game.
  • I will not touch another player's dice.
  • I will not get my fellow player characters killed.
Special thanks to the members of the following Yahoo! Groups for their contributions:

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